PWI Black Student v. HBCU Black Student…
both are intellectual beings seeking to enhance and build their intellect.
One has more exposure to black history and culture…not by choice (well a choice could be applying to the school) and the other voluntarily seeks to immerse themselves in black culture and history…seemingly through their courses.
What is the difference between myself and another black student that goes to a predominately white institution?
Well if they aren’t seeking means to learn about their history and culture…they aren’t as conscious of the plight of Black people.
They think a complaint that is in regards to race is not necessary…exaggerated…untrue in a nutshell pulling the race card.
I would say these kind of Black folk are the Clarence Thomas’ of the Black race. Some believe that Black people are at fault for their problems.
In part it is true but in its entirety its not.
This society was not made for Black people. Social constructions have been placed so we cannot climb up the social ladder or advance. But although this is the case, we shouldn’t succumb to it…we shouldn’t carry a low confidence and comfortability with the way things are.
Not all PWI Blacks are like this but many of my Black and African friends who go to these schools don’t know the things we know at my HBCU. Some don’t appreciate their Blackness and African heritage the way we do.
Some are still in the dark and have become so comfortable, not to mention assimilated in society, with the way society perceives us and is blinded by small social injustices that exist today.
Knowing who I was in the past and who I am now, if I had attended a PWI I would have been lost, ignorant and blinded by what is going on. I wouldn’t have such a strong connection to Africa not to mention so much pride in being BLACK and of African descent.
I’d be completely assimilated…like I was in high school…brainwashed and disregarded my own history…being ashamed of it and seeing it from the same point of view presented to me since elementary school.
I wouldn’t trade my experience at an HBCU for nothing. I love it here. I’ve loved so much and I know who I am today I would not be if I went to a PWI.
We are different when it comes to how we view the world and society.
Some view us as militant and some may be far more intimidated by us…not because of the color of our skin but because we are conscious and educated about the truth and history of our people.
Knowledge is one of the most dangerous weapons a Black man or woman can have.
Our ambition and will to succeed may be the same but our thoughts on issues concerning the Black race…our thoughts, opinions and knowledge of true Black history is not the same.
I’m starting to think…
that maybe this isn’t for me.
Maybe I’m making a huge mistake.
Men….
Men like to harbor the truth of how they feel about you.
It seems like if they’re friends with a girl its much easier to say, “Wow you look nice or wow I like this or I like that” but when they like you more or have romantic feelings for you its like pulling teeth.
You might hear I don’t like the way you dress before….”You’re so beautiful”.
This shit makes no sense.
I think part of it has to do with pride. I think allowing themselves to admit that they secretly or even openly care for you…and I mean more than just a friend…is hard to admit. I don’t know why. 9 times out of 10 if they can’t say anything they probably find certain things about you attractive or enticing.
I think they feel if they say these things it will reveal their true feelings.
In due time guys usually do say how beautiful you are and how great that looks but it takes a long time.
I don’t understand what is so hard about telling someone you like, love or even care for how beautiful they are…inside and out.
Yet you can do it for other women who you have no attraction to?
This is fucked up.
If I have sons…
I want to name them after four African Nationalists.
And I’d also like to name them Ezra…the name of a chapter in the Bible.
Julius
Sekou
Kwame
Nelson
Ezra
Those are all beautiful names…if I don’t have children I’ll convince my friends and family members to name their boys those names. Those are strong names.
Its so…
crazy how people get so caught up.
That they don’t see beyond the individual they are with.
Don’t see a future with someone else, they see this individual filling every face that was unrecognizable when they thought of a lover, friend, and husband.
Its ok to have thoughts about marrying someone, having children with them and spending the rest of your life with them but to think that this is what is going to happen…its naiive to think this way.
This is where the pain, hurt and bitterness derives from.
In your mind you’ve created this future with someone…and it was not definite…it was not promised.
You can’t see anyone else filling that unrecognizable face because for seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and maybe years this individual has made that face recognizable.
The idea of not being with someone after you’ve been with them so long is scary. You may even think about how it may feel one day but you don’t even think about it in full.
There’s nothing wrong with that but to think that there is no possibility of it happening is naiive.
We’re young.
Who knows if who we are with is who we’re going to spend a lifetime with.
Those thoughts are nice but see beyond it…see it possibly with someone else. The pain you’ll feel after feeling so strongly that he/she is the one will leave you suffering with pain you’d have a difficult time dealing with.
Have you ever thought about…
if you were a man what kind of man you would be?
how you would treat a woman?
how you would carry yourself?
I’ve thought about this sometimes…lol and no it doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or bi-sexual.
Its crossed my mind before but at the same time I could say the type of man I would be for a woman because I’m a woman and know what I want…but it could be completely different if I were one.
Cheating…
People are human blah blah blah blah blah
Men will be men blah blah blah blah blah
Cheating is wrong.
There is no excuse for it.
If you’re unsatisfied in a relationship, talk about it…try and and fix it if you really want to be with that person and know that the relationship has potential.
But don’t begin to start something with someone else…don’t start flirting with someone else…don’t share language that is seemingly inappropriate, because you are in a relationship, with someone else.
I don’t understand how you claim to care, like, or love someone but you’re fraternizing with someone else on the side.
If a guy ever cheated on me while in relationship it would be over. There would be no reason for me to stay with him because I believe that is most utmost form of disrespect anyone can do to someone else. If you didn’t want me anymore you should have said it from the beginning and fuck trying to stay with me to not hurt my feelings or because its not the right time to tell me.
Soon as you felt those feelings like you were unsatisfied or you were beginning to interact with women to fill a void let me know, let your partner KNOW…if I’m not giving you what you need let me know and if you’re unhappy let me know but don’t go try to find what I’m not giving you in someone else…its just wrong.
The reason why I feel so strong about cheating is because if I break down my walls for you and open for you in so many ways you should realize that its a privilege and a gift. Every guy that’s interested in me I don’t pay mind to even the ones in the past who were quote on quote good for me or my type. It takes a lot for me to be open and vulnerable with someone even friends and the fact that you would disrespect all that I did to be with you or the fact that you didn’t appreciate mine being with you…no way I’m done.
If a guy cheated on me…it would be his life…no it would be his penis and for the lady he cheated with it would probably be her life.
I don’t think I’ve ever been pushed on the edge before but I believe this will be something that will cause me to go to jail or lose my mind.
In marriage well Idk about that…but I do know when you’re dating your not binded to anyone. Leave if you’re unhappy and if you get cheated on there’s no reason for you to stay. You have no children and you made no vow to each other.
I really hope that no man cheats on me…I really hope not.
Teachers always use to say…
no questions asked are dumb questions but questions that go unanswered are dumb.
Idk something like that but I was wondering even if I ask a dumb question…can’t the question be dumb?
I wonder…
if men know if they respect and treat a woman right she will do the following:
-cook for him
-give him a massage after a long day
-make sure she keeps her body looking right and that she continues to appeal to him
-respect him
-entertain him sexually and non-sexually
-plan a surprise
-do things that he likes to do
and most of all stay with him
I’m just really turned off right now…
It makes sense but at the same time it sucks expecting something and then being slapped in the face from something in the past.
I don’t understand why certain moments can’t be kept as that and nothing less.
Smh…
